In a Pickle Story

Babydolls

It was lunchtime. Dottie had left Alison on lunch duty in the shop.

Now in her bedroom, Dottie dragged the pink Egyptian cotton top sheet and white broderie anglaise duvet cover towards the pillows. Bed made she gathered the now revealed babydoll nightie and candlewick dressing gown, shook both out, before folding each garment loosely in half.

The virginal white baby doll nightie with wide satin ribbon under the bustline, was lovingly placed on a pillow - a bundle of froth on a cushion of dreaming.

Dottie kicked off her mules and padded barefoot across the silver-grey carpet. Swinging the fitted wardrobe doors wide open she knelt down, rifling through assorted footwear. It was like excavating for gold.

Finding a DVD of the 1960s TV Sitcom, The Liver Birds, she pulled it out. She’d watch it later. Another search of the wardrobe floor produced a shiny white patent sandal, with an ankle strap above the kitten heel. Dottie rummaged for its sister.

Her fingers touched a silky bundle.

‘Fiddlesticks and Heavens to Cliff Richards!’ she cried, reeling as if she’d received an electric shock.

Cautiously, like a cat on all fours, Dottie reached inside the wardrobe again. She pulled out Alison’s new silk jumper.

Dottie stared at the balled-up silk. She shook it out. She groaned. The creased garment resembled a mosaic floor. Dottie shook it out a second time. The mosaic effect remained. Dottie panicked.

Springing up, she began pacing the bedroom. ‘Oh, why did I have to wonder what Alison’s jumper would look like with my Burgundy suede miniskirt? - I don’t even like the mucky colour! – Why did Alison have to return early so I had to hide the jumper? – What with the gig last night and all the hassle over Ruby this morning, I clean forgot - What’s Alison going to say? - Curiosity killed the cat springs to mind. - No, no, what am I thinking? - She won’t mind, she’ll understand. - It’s only a jumper after all.’

Mission Impossible

Dottie stopped pacing. ‘Get a grip! I can solve this. Alison need never find out…’ Dottie gazed at the jumper. ‘I can’t simply return it to the chair in her bedroom… she precision folds her clothes like someone creating a piece of origami.’

She hummed the first few bars of the old TV series, Mission Impossible. Dottie clicked thumb and fingers loudly as a brainwave occurred. ‘A trouser press. Just as Reg used in another 60s Sitcom, The Rag Trade. That’s it! Think. What happened?’

Dottie resumed pacing, ‘I remember. Reg Varney’s character used a stiffening solution on a pair of slacks the girls had made - Sheila Hancock’s character was having her hair permed in the workshop - The timer was set for taking the slacks out of the press. The girls changed the timer setting to when the perm lotion had to be washed off, resulting in the slacks being pressed for too long and coming out of the press as stiff and hard as cardboard,’ she finished triumphantly.

Dottie strode confidently into the living room. ‘I could press Alison’s jumper… except we don’t have a trouser press.’ She stopped. ‘But we’ve got an iron. I’ve seen Alison use it. Perfect!’

She dropped the jumper onto the sofa and sprang into lightening action, disappearing into kitchen, opening broom cupboard door, pulling out the ironing board. Back in the living room, Dottie battled to put the ironing board up. It was worse than trying to unfold a deck chair.

Ironing board finally standing firm and at the right height for Dottie, she fetched the iron, set the temperature dial and turned it on.

‘Fiddlesticks. The brown paper’s downstairs in the shop.’

Her gaze alighted on the coffee table where an old Beano comic lay. Scooping up comic and jumper she spread eagled the clothing on the ironing board and covered it with the opened Beano.

Distracted by a grinning Dennis the Menace and Gnasher, Dottie was well into the cartoon story when she heard the door of the flat opening. Alison came into the living room.

Dottie jumped. Alison stared and blinked.

‘Oh Auntie!’

‘What?’

‘You’re going to do the ironing!’

Alison darted into the bathroom and re-emerged with ironing piled high inside a blue plastic laundry basket.

‘You need this’ she said, dumping it onto a chair close to Dottie.

‘I thought you were minding the shop during lunchbreak.’

‘I wanted a yoghurt.’

‘There’s a pack in the fridge downstairs.’

Alison, already in the kitchen, looking inside the fridge, took out a small pot of strawberry yoghurt.’

‘I know. All eight of them are toffee flavour.’

‘What’s wrong with that?’

‘Hardly healthy,’ she said, scooting past Dottie at the ironing board, on her way out. She hesitated. ‘Why are you reading the Beano?’

‘I’m waiting for the iron to get hot,’ improvised Dottie.

‘It is hot, the light’s gone out.’

Dottie picked up the iron and set the dial higher. The light came on.

Alison looked suspicious.

Suddenly the sound of the shop doorbell rang inside the flat.

Startled, Alison left with a heartfelt, ‘Please don’t burn anything Auntie.’

‘Phew…saved by the bell…literally,’ muttered Dottie, running the iron over the Beano pages. ‘Great balls of fire!’ she cried, as the too hot iron singed the colour printed pages.

Alison’s silk jumper was imprinted with blotches of coloured ink. The base of the iron was a mess. Dottie quickly turned off the iron. The flat door opened again. Dashing across to the open kitchen window, Dottie threw the jumper out into the back garden below.

Turning, Dottie saw it wasn’t Alison after all.

‘Only me,’ said Beatrice. ‘What’s up? You look as though you’ve seen a ghost.’

(A Liver Birds YouTube video)

Where you'll see a young Nerys Hughes as Sandra, Polly James as Beryl and John Nettles playing Sandra's boyfriend, Paul.

(The Rag Trade YouTube video)

This clip shows Sheila Hancock who plays Carole Taylor, wearing a Babydoll and Miriam Karlim as Paddy Fleming. Look out for glimpses of Barbara Windsor in her mid-twenties playing Gloria.

Characters and blog post, In a Pickle Story - Will Ruby Get the Boot? Excerpt Two is from In a Pickle (Book One) to be published 2025 © Charlie Clarke 2023